Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.

Sorry for the long time since my last entry, but it’s really been a rough two weeks. I've never felt so weak and incapable of doing anything as I have in these past few weeks. Most of which has been spent in my bed laying down and constantly moving trying to find a position that will minimize my back and leg pains. It has really been a battle to maintain patience as day after day I wake up hoping the pain will go away and day after day it remains. I have really been humbled in all this time to realize how little power I really have in my life, just a simple thing as a little problem in one disc in my back can essentially bring my life to a screeching halt. It’s a humbling realization of my own smallness and fragility, I always felt like I was young and active, ate pretty healthily, worked out and that I could pretty much do anything to my body and not get sick or hurt. How quickly that idea has ended and now I count it a victory if I can sit in a chair for five minutes without pain or find a position to sleep in that allows me to be without pain. I am currently taking anti-inflammatory pain killers (which are readily available without a prescription at the pharmacy) that were recommended by the doctor at the hospital. I have gained some more mobility as I can now get up and walk around a bit, but still with pretty strong pain from time to time. I have started to do some stretches recommended by various friends and hope that I am getting stronger and will one day soon return to full mobility. In the meantime it’s been a frustrating but growing time. I managed to read in these past two weeks Genesis through Esther in the Bible and found myself enthralled with each age in a way that the Old Testament especially has never been alive to me. I only started reading it because I didn’t have any other book in English and got bored of just laying in bed, but once I started I couldn’t stop, I was captivated by the God’s love story with his people. To be able to read so much in a short time I was able to see a larger picture of God’s workings here on earth and how he continues to work to make his name great. I even found Leviticus and Deuteronomy interesting, fascinated by the law and just the direct way God worked and communicated with his people. It is amazing to see God’s provision for his people and how so many times he rescues them from certain defeat. I also was struck by how much he controls everything, how he promises financial and physical prosperity if the nation of Israel will only follow his law and how he promises disease and hardship if they will not. I was struck too again by God’s heart for the poor as seen by various Old Testament laws including Jubilee. I like how God commanded Israel to let the fields rest every 7 years and before they even had time to complain promised that if they followed his laws and precepts that he would bless them and make their crops grow so abundantly in the 6th year that it would give them enough food for 3 years. I was also enthralled by the books of history (Samuels, Kings, Chronicles) and fascinated by all the kings, prophets and history and God’s continual faithfulness. I even found what now might be my favorite verse in 1 Chronicles 16:8-12 “Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced.” I am trying to learn to do that, to give thanks, to call on his name, to make his name known, to sing to him, to tell others of his wonderful acts, to glory in his name, to rejoice, look to him, seek his face and remember all the wonderful things he has done. I am still in a fair amount of pain in both my upper legs and back, but encouraged and trying to figure out where God is taking me next and for the mean time enjoying the ride. Thanks for all your prayers and continued support. While in bed I have also been encouraged by lots of the young people from my neighborhood coming by for visits and just sitting and talking with them for hours at a time has been great. I miss you all, much love and God bless.