Goodbye for now...

Well, yesterday was a day that brought me sadness, but yet somehow I remain hopeful. Yesterday I got to church at 10 and there was Jaime waiting for me outside the church and he told me that things hadn't worked out with his job that his coworkers didn't treat him well and that he had spent the last few days living in the park again. He told me that he had to get out of Puebla and just came to say goodbye before he was on his way. I felt torn and helpless and didn't know what to do. He thanks me for all the love and care I had showed him and said that he will continue his walk with God, just not here in Puebla. I can't say that I blame his desire to get out of a city where he has no family except for maybe me and just feels like there is nothing that can be done here. I admire him to the extent that he doesn't settle for stealing or panhandling or something else that most people do. He said the guy from my church who got him the job promised to come visit several times but didn't and that he felt like he never developed confianza (trust) with his boss or coworkers; that they viewed him as an old homeless guy who couldn't get much work done. I told him that I wouldn't let him leave just walking and so offered to help him with his bus ticket. He kept saying I had a service to go to, but I told him people were more important than services. Finally he agreed to let me help him a bit and we returned to my apartment, he ask me if he could have my Bible and so I gave it to him and wrote a little note and just keep him in my prayers and know that God will go with him. I wanted to take him to the bus station and buy his ticket all the way to Monterrey, but he said that isn't what he wanted to do. He said he felt like a baby and wanted to go on his own terms and not on mine. After I insisted several times I decided that I should respect his wishes and gave him the money I had on me that will help him get about half way to where he is going and he said he knew someone in that city where he could get a job. Before he left I asked him if I could pray for him and I prayed that God would cover him and protect him and help him to get reunited with his family. It was sad to see him leave, but as I watch him walk into the distance I felt some sense of peace that God was with him. I sat on a bench as he faded into the horizon before I hopped on a bus and went back to my church to get to the next service at my church. I got there a bit early and had a great conversation with a bunch of the younger guys from my youth group which was really encouraging and am going to share there not this Sunday, but the next. Finally, I was sharing my sadness about Jaime with Jorge, who I have gotten to know pretty well, and was saying how I felt like now I couldn't do anything and that it's out of my hands when it finally clicked in my head that it was never in my hands, that I never had any power, that it was always in God's hands. I thank him for the opportunities that he gives me to share his love and hope with the world. I thank him that this undeserving, sinful, doubting servant can still be used despite his flaws and reservations. That somehow God manages to use us, despite our fragile nature to share his love with the world. Much love to all of you and God bless.